Post Port Removal Portlessness

***Warning, the second image is of the procedure site, therefore a little bloody***hospitalgownswagger

One year and one week later and I am now port free! The surgery went well and after a day of recovery spent sleeping off anesthesia and pain medication, I am feeling like my normal self again. The pain was much less than getting the port put in, in fact today I see no need for meds and only feel a bit of discomfort around the area.

If you watched the video I posted the other day (click here), then you know that I was feeling a little apprehensive about the whole procedure. There were two reasons for this, one being that I did not have the best team of doctors/nurses when I got the port put in, and the other being more based on superstition.

Fortunately for this procedure I had an amazing medical support team. Everyone was so kind and comforting. If I’ve learned anything through this experience, its that you have to trust your medical team. Having faith in the people who are taking care of you just makes the whole experience more tolerable. Sometimes the only thing that gets you through the pokes, prods and constant hospital visits is knowing that your going to get to see your favorite nurse/doctor, etc. Most of my nerves subsided after I met the anesthesiologists and nurses who would be with me during the surgery.

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They were definitely nothing like the surgery team I’d had the previous year who seemed grumpy and upset with me, the patient, throughout the whole process. I specifically remember feeling anxious when I entered the OR, anxiety which only increased as I could hear my heart rate steadily increasing on the monitor. Instead of some kind words from the people around me, the anesthesiologist told me to “stop freaking out.” This was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep. Things were no better when I woke up several hours later to the same man berating me for gagging as they pulled the intubation tube out of my throat. These things might not have upset me so much had this not been my first procedure after being diagnosed with cancer a few days earlier.

Having had this happen, I am so thankful that the rest of my experiences, including my removal process, have been with some of the most amazing, kind and loving medical staff on the planet.

My other fears for getting my port removed where quite silly. I was beginning to tie my port and it’s placement in my chest to my remission status. Any apprehensions that I had for getting the port taken out which stemmed from these thoughts and fears was illogical, and I knew that. This is why I went ahead and removed the port. I knew that I couldn’t make this decision out of fear. My cancer will not come back because my port is gone. If it comes back it will be because that is what is meant to be. Keeping/removing my port will not change that.

All in all, I am glad that I did not feed these fears by cancelling the procedure. I feel the same without it as I did with it, happy and healthy!

Hope you all are having a lovely start to your week!

xoxo Kathy

Photoshoot with Kate E. Photography

Hi Everyone,

I recently did a photo shoot with an old family friend and aspiring photographer Kate E. Photography! Check out her work here and be sure to like her Facebook page here! Kate has avidly supported me with encouraging messages throughout my entire cancer experience. She approached me a few months ago about doing a photo shoot but I was too sick until recently to actually do it! I really wanted us to be able to capture what was left of my cancer experience before too much of my hair grew back. We also did some more edgy, fashionable type photos for fun! And a few with Val! Overall it was a lovely day with a great friend and photographer! Special thanks to Daniel Ross Salon for styling my makeup and hair!

Here are a few of my favorite shots :)

*Please keep in mind that I am not a model and suffer from chronic bitch face*

2923BW363234BW133311152038BW Thanks for looking guys! Hope you like them!

xoxo Kathy

 

 

Quick Update Video

Hi Everyone!

It would be awesome if you could all take a few minutes to watch this update video I did today. Just wanted to fill everyone in on what’s been going on. Also I would love to answer ANY questions anyone has about anything.

Hope you are all having a fantastic weekend! Go Hawks!

xoxo Katherine

What 2013 Gave Me

I never would have described myself as a glass-half-full sort of person before this year. Not because I was a negative, glass-half-empty sort of person before but because I have never experienced something so unique or scary or enlightening or profound as I have in 2013. Something happened to me that I had no control over at all. There was nothing I could do to stop it or change it. The only thing I could choose was how I was going to live with it. And LIVE WITH IT is EXACTLY what I did. I crashed head-on into a lemon tree this year, but I’ve figured out how to make some damn good lemonade.

Here is my 2013, the bad, the good and the really, really, really good.

  • I got a tattoo on my leg.

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  • I graduated from FIDM, and made some really bad ass shit.

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  • I went to Disneyland with my sisters.
  • IMG_1955I got diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia and had to move back to Washington.

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  • I fell madly in love.

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  • I rocked a bald head.

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  • I got a new car.

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  • I experienced what it’s like to be trapped in your own body and have no control over your movements and actions or the ability to speak or function normally and had this tube shoved down my nose via leukoencephalopathy, fuck you very much methotrexate.

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  • I redecorated my bedroom and got a badass TV.

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  • I spoke at two cancer benefit events

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  • I bonded with my family

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  • I went to some dark places. (but I only threw up once)

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  • I missed my best friends.

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  • I went to my first Seahawks game, sat in the Red Zone at met Russell Wilson!

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  • And I gained a new sense of community. I experienced the kindness and compassion of family, friends, acquaintances and strangers. I learned more than I ever could have expected.

Getting cancer is horrible, but getting through it is amazing. I don’t know if other people can see it the way that I do, but in the end, I gained so much more than I lost this year, and a lot of it wouldn’t have happened without Leukemia. Life happens, whether you want it to or not and sometimes you just have to roll with the punches, and enjoy what you can with the people you love. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me, supported me, prayed for me, thought of me, donated blood, donated money, done anything for me or my family or cancer research. I may not have responded at times, but I have appreciated everything that has been done for me so greatly and I hope that everyone who has tried to support me knows that.

2013, I’m not sad to see you go, but you were good to me. Overall, you were good to me.

xoxo,

Kathy

 

 

 

Where to begin…

Hello family, friends and others who are for some reason interested in my life,

I have been wanting to start this blog for a long time but there was always something holding me back from doing so. Since being diagnosed with Leukemia in April and forced to move home to Seattle, I have all the time in the world to work on this project. I want this blog to be a documentation of my journey not only through cancer but through all aspects of my life, including art&design, fashion&beauty, my puppy, and my friends&family. I strive to be a very honest and open person and so far having cancer has only made me more transparent. I bring this up as a warning because Chemotherapy is no cakewalk and I want to be able to talk about all of the side effects that I am dealing with. I have a generally positive outlook on this whole situation and often use sarcasm and humor to cope. I would hope that most of my posts will be positive, helpful and/or funny but I do have bad days sometimes and that is probably when I will need this space the most. I know that starting this blog will be very therapeutic for me and I can only hope that through doing this I can help others. Not only other cancer or Leukemia patients, but everyone else too. And I’m so excited to get started!!!!

xoxo Katherine