I never would have described myself as a glass-half-full sort of person before this year. Not because I was a negative, glass-half-empty sort of person before but because I have never experienced something so unique or scary or enlightening or profound as I have in 2013. Something happened to me that I had no control over at all. There was nothing I could do to stop it or change it. The only thing I could choose was how I was going to live with it. And LIVE WITH IT is EXACTLY what I did. I crashed head-on into a lemon tree this year, but I’ve figured out how to make some damn good lemonade.
Here is my 2013, the bad, the good and the really, really, really good.
- I got a tattoo on my leg.
- I graduated from FIDM, and made some really bad ass shit.
- I went to Disneyland with my sisters.
- I fell madly in love.
- I rocked a bald head.
- I got a new car.
- I experienced what it’s like to be trapped in your own body and have no control over your movements and actions or the ability to speak or function normally and had this tube shoved down my nose via leukoencephalopathy, fuck you very much methotrexate.
- I redecorated my bedroom and got a badass TV.
- I spoke at two cancer benefit events
- I bonded with my family
- I went to some dark places. (but I only threw up once)
- I missed my best friends.
- I went to my first Seahawks game, sat in the Red Zone at met Russell Wilson!
- And I gained a new sense of community. I experienced the kindness and compassion of family, friends, acquaintances and strangers. I learned more than I ever could have expected.
Getting cancer is horrible, but getting through it is amazing. I don’t know if other people can see it the way that I do, but in the end, I gained so much more than I lost this year, and a lot of it wouldn’t have happened without Leukemia. Life happens, whether you want it to or not and sometimes you just have to roll with the punches, and enjoy what you can with the people you love. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me, supported me, prayed for me, thought of me, donated blood, donated money, done anything for me or my family or cancer research. I may not have responded at times, but I have appreciated everything that has been done for me so greatly and I hope that everyone who has tried to support me knows that.
2013, I’m not sad to see you go, but you were good to me. Overall, you were good to me.